I'm sitting in front of my computer now and really wondering what to write. It's a really strange feeling that i can't really put a finger into, i know there are many things that i really want to say it out loud, but something seems to be withholding me. Yesterday's cell topic was about Friends, and i gave my thoughts and sharing about my own take and personal experiences i have about my friends. I realised that most of the time, i look to my friends as a source of companionship, an oasis where i can be to relax and just take a step back from my life, rather than journeying friends through thick and thin.

Ok, after reflecting for a day or so, i came to a realisation that an ideal friendship encompasses building up a friend, journeying with this friend through thick and thin, where we motivate one another whenever we fall, we correct one another if we find that we did something wrong, its like a mortal guardian angel sent from God. And then i look at reality, at times, i feel that some of the friendships i possess seem quite superficial, they pale from the ideal kind of friendship that I would expect. Perhaps what some wise people say is true, you dont need the whole world to be your friend, you only need just a few good friends.

Every language have a range of vocabulary to describe friends, but you would realise that each word entails a different degree or extent of friendship. For example in English, the lowest degree of friendship is probably acquaintence, a word to decribe a mid level of friendship would be mate, and the highest level of friendship, a confidante. Similarly in Mandarin, peng you itself is a broad category, si dang refers to people you always hang out with, zi ji refers so someone whom you would confide in.

From a mathematical point of view, there are just so many different subsets that your friends can be classified under, you can have an infinite number of them under the Universal Set, but how many will there be, at the intersection of all the subsets. How much time and effort are you able to commit to every single one of these friends within the universal set of friends that you have. Perhaps the logical way is to spilt the time according to the level of closeness, but then, that makes our friendship conditional. It only shows that you will commit more to those whom you think you can reciprocrate that kind of friendship.

To date, i find it hard to balance out my commitment to all my friends. Perhaps its this fear of rejection from friends, that causing lack of judgement. Perhaps im just being too greedy to want everyone to be my friend, to be at the centre of all intersections.