These three years seemed to be the darkest moments of her life.

For one, she completely lost her sense of identity.
She used to be a plucky person, who can differentiate clearly between right and wrong,
but now, that even though she knew something was wrong, she still choose to let things pass. Worst still, allowed herself to continue sinking into those mistakes.

The Joan in the past, was willing to change and constantly reflect upon herself.
But now, she goes to bed every night, without prayer, without reflecting on her actions and how to make amends.

She no longer excel academically as she did before.
Everything around her seems demoralising and hopeless, she lost her drive to go on.
She wonders what does the future holds for her, but the answer was not in the winds, the seas or anywhere around her.

She lost trust in some of her friends. Those whom she thought were her friends, turned out to be taking her for granted. She feels little in the eyes of her coursemates, somehow. And she wonders is there anyone whom she could really talk to.

And so she's tired, at this very moment. Not knowing where else to head to.