OH~ What A Week! I'm finally back from camp! It's been a truly awesome camp. Before i start on this post, let me make a disclaimer: This post is going to be alot about God, so do bear with me if your uncomfortable or u can ignore this post.
Ask me what i did during the 5 days of camp (wed-sun) i can say only i did ONE thing: PRAY. But ask me how i felt during the camp, i must say that it was indeed a myriad of feelings. From a sense of pent up excitement while waiting for participants to arrive, to uncertainty and anxiety when things are not turning out as expected, to being awestruck by strong messages and visions from God and finally being touched by the love and grace of God. But all in all, i learnt ONE thing: Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God.
Day Zero started off with a prayer walk on the premises of the campsite. Initially i felt quite uncomfortable taking the lead, i tend to stammer while starting off, and i felt even more stressed up when a senior actually suggested the guardian angel prayer when all my life i have never heard of the existence of it. Thankfully, the rest of the intercessory members knew so i could jus echo after them. As we prayer walked the field and driveway where games would take place, the safety conscious first aider in me cannot help but keep praying for safety and hoping that i do not have to put my skills to use even though i spend the night revising the manual. I was really edified by the prompting that others received and i thought to myself: since i may not be sensitive enough to the promptings, perhaps it would help that my fellow team members are my spiritual eyes.
Day One came. That most awaited day where participants stream in. I was quite taken aback by the fact that most participants this year belong to the 16-17 year old catergory. We were glad that participants enjoyed the game, save for some casualties (John Tan promised that casualty rate is low... but not this yr). Then came supper time, Eunice told me that 3 of her grp members were ill, one of them had fever and is shivering really badly. I was quite unsure of what to do, whether should i take temperature first, should we isolate him in a separate dorm, should we let him take fever medicine.... 10000 questions were crossing my mind, then came Leonard, Amplify's head, who steadily walked in and sat by the sick boy. I began to explain the situation to him, told him what i think we should do, but to my amazement, he didnt seem to be bothered about those practical steps that we should take, instead he just took the boy's hand and said, okay XX, i will pray for you, do not worry. I'm like, WHAT??!! This guys is like shivering and feverish and all we're going to do is pray? To a practical person like me, this is totally inconceivable, i mean yeah i agree we should pray, but cant we do it later? Then the story about Mary and Martha struck me, where I am very much like Martha, anxiously trying to prepare everything, whereas Leo is like Mary who just quietly sat there to contemplate and pray about it. I begin to realise as an intercessory head, i really should believe in prayer more than anyone else. This episode really changed my entire approach to the camp in a positive way as i learnt to have more faith and trust in God.
Day 2 came. We did another prayer walk for the quiet time stations and on the kitchen equiptment which were faulty. I remembered us praying over this freezer which the kitchen team highlighted that it was faulty. Initially the air in the freezer was rather still, but as we began to lay our hands, we felt heard the roaring sound of the motor. It was as though the motor jolted back to life. Praise God, and the freezer really worked after that! With no technicians or engineers at our disposal, all we could do was to pray for a miracle from God. I finally understood why Leonard insisted on praying rather than anything else on the day 1.
I started to feel stressed for healing that was to take place that night, i kept reminding myself that its gonna be God's battle but i can't help but feel that how successful healing will go depends on prayers of intercessors. During spiritual prep prior to healing night, i didnt have a chance to be ministered, I thought healing was going to be fine since i did it before. But while ministering to participants, i felt really discouraged whenever i couldnt see any reaction in the participants despite praying really hard for them. I'm really thankful for the fact that whenever i'm loss for words, Claudia my partner would prompt me. When healing ended, i sat before the Blessed Sacrament and reflected. I realised that i've been relying too much on my own words to pray that i forgot to be open to God's messages. I really should swallow my pride and listen to God.
Day3 was going to be another physically draining day. There was going to be outpouring that night but we felt that there was still a lack of hunger for God among the participants and some felt anxious for not being able receive a touch from God. In addition, day 3 was the day where i'm left alone with the group most of the time and i began to worry about how am i going to conduct the prayer sessions. In the afternoon, as we sat down to pray together with service team members from log, kitchen and production, i felt that there was a strong sense of unity in our prayers, and i guess God really must have been irritated by us and has finally stopped to listen.. haha.. We had a great sharing session after that and that was when God's messages start pouring out upon us as we started referring to bible passages which we were previously directed to but couldnt make sense out of it. Suddenly everything began to piece together and we got a clear message of what God wanted to tell us: that there was going to be growth, it will take a long time, like gold tested with fire, but when the foundation was laid, it was as though the seed has germinate and the shoot would grows extremely quickly like that of a bamboo shoot. And true enough, outpouring was great as many received that touch from God.
Then came day4, last day of the camp at long last. We still felt a strong need to continue praying, as there were a few who felt slightly disappointed or a sense of disbelief that they didnt receive the gifts they desired. We didnt give up and continued to pray for spiritual breakthrough, eventually some of us felt a sense of joy that God will definitely make things happen . But when afternoon came and one participant was still rather depressed, the log and kitchen team decided to band together and offered up prayers specially for her. Once again, God was amazed by our unity and strength. As we were saying the Divine Mercy Prayers and spontaneously praying, the presence of God in the room where we were was really strong and we received affirmation that the bondages which the participant had had been broken. True enough, the participant was fine just before Commissioning Mass.
During the Commissioning Mass as we were singing the Lord's Prayer and everyone joined hands, i can't help but feel this sense of joy that God has won the victory once again. I thought to myself: God, these are the people whom Your Son has gained for you. And at that point, i was truly touched by the love and grace of God. After the 5 days, i finally completely understood the phrase: Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God. For it is only God who makes all things possible, not us.
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