Within a short span of 2 hours, i've been thrown into a myriad of feelings.. Immediately after my fluid paper, i came out with an extremely dejected spirit. I cant imagine all my hardwork and efforts all came to naught, i wrote NOTHING for a 14 mark question, wrongly substituted the angles into the bernoulli equation, COULDNT do a 11 mark question of which i had to derive the velocity profile, FORGOT to copy the whole chunk about golf ball dimples into my helpsheet, CLEANLY forgotten about how to draw the velocity profile for turbulent and laminar flow.
what have i been studying!!! Foolish or stupid is really an understatement to describe myself.

Then i came home, and suddenly remembered that i have yet to open the results of my position paper. I eventually got more emotional while i was taking my shower. I suddenly picture myself in front of the lap top and the position paper marks unravel a BIG FAT 64. The more i thought about it, the worse i felt.


My dejectedness transformed into something worse, i start to become suicidal. Weird visions started to run through my mind as i saw myself trying all sorts of dangerous acts that puts me to great danger, i imagined myself suspending in mid air on some bungee cord, or running like mad until i collapse of heart failure, or bathing halfway and the ceiling collapse on me, take a plane and the plane crashed in the middle of the ocean.

After my shower, i inched towards my laptop, typed my nus email and password with the heaviest heart i've ever had. As the screen start to load, the butterflies in my stomach start to flutter, my internal organs are churning. And then the email page finally loaded, i swallowed my saliva, searched beneath the piles and piles of email (its like more than a week so i had to rummage through the junk emails and what not) and i finally found the email. "PP Result" reads the title of the email, sigh... i took a deep breath and clicked on it. In my heart i was half expecting a 60+ mark, and when i saw my results. My heart stopped. It was better than what i expected. Although not very fantastic, but i thank God that it was a pass.

Clearly i know deep in my heart that after so many papers, this was the only module that i could do ok, and my worries were finally put to rest as my fear that my pp results could cause me to fail the module subsided.

And so from being dejected, to emotional, suicidal, and anxious and finally relieved. This is the roller coaster of emotions i went through in such a short 2 hours. If extreme mood swings is a symptom of depression, i think i might have it.