One eighth of a quest for ?

And so, with the end of my last exam for EG1109, it marks the end of Semester One. I think the last 4 four months was indeed a trying time for me, struggling to adapt to uni life, and at the same time juggling with church stuff. The process, although tough, has indeed strengthened my faith in God. I used to think that I should in some ways compartmentalise God from studies and i should never serve God and expect Him to make my school life easier in return. But as i continue into the semester and work starts getting harder, I realised that it was just impossible. I remembered freaking out on every tue night when CS1101c lab programming questions are released because the deadline is on fri and the lab questions every week is jus HARD!! I'm so afraid that I might not complete the questions by fri afternoon because i have to be at Amplify on fri evenings. In the end, I find myself making desperate attempts to pray and hope that i can finish my work on time. Slowly but surely, God did answer my prayers somehow. It happens really subtly, without even realising it. I remembered debugging my programme for a good 5 hours clueless as to where the logic or compiling error is and then suddenly i got an inspiration, made a small change, and viola! It's jus incredible, i cant believe i managed to solve it.

After this incident, i began to believe that God actually does answer our prayers. I used to think that God only answers prayers that He wishes to answer (or prayers that are for the good of people) and we shouldnt go to Him for material needs or things like getting good results. This entire semester has made me come to realise that everything that i have now, my friends, my place in an engineering course was given to me by the grace of God, i have done nothing to deserve all these goodness. And hence, it is pointless for me to try and achieve everything on my own because it is jus not possible if it wasnt the will of God. True enough, i may be blessed with some kind of knowledge or a little bit of IQ but who am I without God?

I remembered my friend, who is somewhat an atheist, said this to me "I hope your God is able to help you with this question..." I honestly did not understand his point of saying this but i felt quite uncomfortable. It may come across to some as gullible to attribute everything to God but to me, I think that it is more silly to think that everything is within our control.

These 4 months has been really a rolleer coaster ride for me, there were many ups and downs. While i celebrate the happiness and joy of the company of friends, what makes me really sad is not being able to do well and constantly seeing red on my test papers. I really hope to learn something out of these 8 semesters and not at the end of 4 years learn to get use to failing instead. I made a bet with God: If He could help me pass my EG1109, i will be a teacher (no matter how unwilling i am). I think i might win the bet. lols...